How Do You Deal with Entitlement on Your Team?

It’s that time again, when my American cousins south of the border celebrate a full day of NFL games in the middle of the week. Oh, and it’s Thanksgiving too. You’d probably expect me to write about how we should be grateful and count our blessings, right? Well, being a bit of a contrarian I’d like to write about the opposite...entitlement. 

Yup, it’s like a cancer that grows silently in many teams. Rather than an external perspective of excess, it’s an internal, myopic focus on a deficit. It’s a “poor me” attitude that tricks team members into believing that others have more, the world is unfair and they are going without. It leads to self-soothing behaviors of gossip, laziness and at its worst, subversive behaviour. 

The worst part is, that unlike cancer, it’s contagious. If you don’t nip it in the bud it spreads from person to person. It tends to breed and proliferate in the break room or behind closed doors. No one is really immune to it and we haven’t found a vaccine. 

But you can combat it, as a leader, you can fight back. You have to take swift and direct action and deal with it one person at a time. You need to act and you need to do it now, otherwise it'll spread faster than mold in a damp basement. Here’s what you do. 

First, recognize it: You’ll notice the dour face, the arms crossed in meetings and the lack of enthusiasm. You’ll hear requests for things that seem illogical, inconsequential and petty. You’ll see their energy level dwindle, their bag packed up half an hour before quitting time and you’ll find them hard to locate after lunch. You’ve got a case of entitlement, full on. 

Next, address it: Move toward the tension. Don’t play the game of dropping passive aggressive hints that your team member needs to get their proverbial butt in gear. No, you need to meet with them, ask how they are doing, tell them what you see and then stop talking. Just listen. Wait them out if you have to. Put your team member on notice that this behaviour is not okay. They may tell you a few things that surprise you. 

Then refocus them: offer them an antidote to the poison they swallow daily. Ensure that they know the team’s goals. Afterall, I’m sorry to say, you may be to blame if they have nothing exciting to focus on since you haven’t inspired them to join you on a worthy mission.

Talk about what they’re role on the team is, what you need from them and how they contribute. Start there and ensure they have meaningful work to do that’s recognized and respected. Maybe their lazy behaviour is a cry for more engaging work. This could be your next star player if they get their head in the right space.

Now you’re ready to offer them some control, to get in the driver's seat, to take accountability for their work life. We all want to be masters of our destiny, feeling helpless and useless is a deadly combination. Discuss what they can do to make their situation more palatable and exciting. Ask them how they can better support the team and its work. Remember, you’re seeking to change their focus from “me” to “we”. Get them to commit to what they can do for the team, not what you can do for them. 

And don’t forget to talk about what success looks like. Paint a picture of what winning feels like. Talk about the indicators of success and ensure they know you’ll be watching out for them too. 

If you’re at all familiar with my work, you’ll realize that you just coached your team member using the PowerTeam Compass. 

In all this, check your own attitude. Do you really just want to fire them? If so, your actions follow your beliefs and you’ll have a hard time faking that you believe in them. The whole exercise will be a mockery and they’ll know it. No, you need to see and believe that they have a purpose, that they bring value and can make a needed contribution to the team. If you don’t, then be honest, find a way to part company that treats them with respect. You owe them that. 

This year, before binging on the NFL and leftovers, think about each and every team member, one by one, and think of one way that they each contribute that you’re thankful for. Oh, and then tell them. 

Think about it.