How Do You Deal with the Challenger on Your Team?

Do you have that one person on your team that just seems to rub you the wrong way. It happens on teams, particularly executive teams, that there’s one person who seems to be always going against the grain. Not only do they always seem to challenge your ideas but they have a different set of values and perhaps, maybe even a different set of ethics. They get under your skin and drain your energy. You might even dread meetings with them because you know you’re going to feel like a sheepdog trying to herd them and their ideas into the pen of your plan. Deep down, you just want to fire them, but they are getting results in an unconventional way, even though it’s not your way and they’re building a loyal following. What’s a leader to do?

What I’m about to tell you might surprise you. The issue might not be them, it might be you. And worse (or better), they might be your golden ticket. 

You see, as leaders, we tend to replicate ourselves. It’s not only comfortable, it happens as a direct result of our leadership. The people who follow us, our loyal team members, align with and assume our values, our principles and our practices. If they’re with you long enough they will value what you value, they will see the world as you see it and they will start to become like you, ‘Mini-mes’ as it were. Naturally, followers gravitate to leaders, particularly ones they can identify with and fit well with. Sort of like how the north and south ends of two magnets are naturally drawn to each other. 

But then there’s the challenger. Like two north ends of a magnet repelling each other. This person wants to do things in a different way, their own way. They don’t accept the status quo of the way things are done around here. They don’t operate as you do, they don’t value what you do and they resist becoming a mini-me. It’s as if you have little to no influence over them. 

This person is a poor follower. Ah, there’s the point. If they aren’t a follower, perhaps they are a leader. Perhaps this is why you feel a sense of “repulsion” in the magnetic sense of the word and why no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to connect with them. 

Let me share some advice on how to deal with this person. 

First, swallow your pride. Recognize that you are their leader and not their competition even though you may have been treating them as such. Admit that you are not the font of all wisdom. Face it, you may have a sour ego pill to swallow if deep down you believe your way is not only the right way but the only way. Accept that they may be able to bring value and help the team.

Then think through a few recent encounters you’ve had together. Examine where their focus lies. If their challenging ways are only for their self-betterment then you just have a case of entitlement on your hands, that was last week’s message. But if you notice their ideas are meant for the good of the team (in their mind) rather than themselves you might be onto something. Note also if their focus is oriented to the future and their ideas and suggestions are about new and different ways to move forward rather than digging up old graves. These are two clues that you might be trying to force a leader to follow. 

Next, move toward the tension and meet with them. Dialogue on their ideas. Listen for their intentions and together explore the feasibility of their ideas with an open mind. This is harder than it seems but could pay off with a new mutual respect or perhaps a game-changing idea. 

Finally, give them their own hill to conquer. This might be giving them permission to implement one of their ideas, it may be giving them a significant responsibility within your team, or carving out a new portfolio for them to lead. 

In saying this, be sure you remain faithful to your duties of leadership. You can’t abdicate your responsibility for the overall results, nor for protecting the team’s culture, nor ensuring business is conducted ethically and with long-term sustainability at heart. But given those boundaries, you might do better and gain more by recognizing the leader on your team and empowering them to work with you rather than against you. Afterall, they might be the next leader for your team or they might just pass you on the corporate ladder. 

Think about it.